Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Sometimes motherhood isn't what I thought it would be. Sometimes I'm surprised by my boys likes and dislikes as well as their abilities and disabilities.

It's not all peaches and cream. Not that I thought it would be, but sometimes, it's more like mushrooms and vinegar (those are gross things to me).

I struggle to be the best version of me as a mom to my kids when it's hard. I know it's hard for everyone, I'm not saying that I have a harder situation than anyone else, in fact, I know several people who are in some very serious struggles right now. That doesn't make it any easier for me though, just makes me pray for them and their families.

How do I know I'm giving them enough one on one time? I know I don't.
Are we spending enough time reading this summer? I know we're not.
Does it matter? I'm not really even sure.
How much sports is too much? I don't know.
How late is too late to stay up on a weekday? I have no idea.
Are they learning about chores and responsibility early enough? I don't know, but we're trying.
What about respect and kindness? It sure doesn't feel like it.
God's word? I'm afraid not, we need to step it up.
Are we making enough good memories? I hope so.
Why does summer go so fast? I guess because we love it so.
How did they do it years ago with families of 8 and 10 children? I have trouble with my 4 and all I want to teach them. But I work during the week so I have to turn a lot of that over to our sitter. That scares me too. I trust her and she loves them, but God gave them to me to raise. Oh, I hope I'm doing a good enough job.

Just some ramblings I needed to get out. Summer is hard for me-that's when I really struggle with being a working mom. But, I wouldn't trade my boys for anything! And I think they're kind of partial to me too!


Deanna said...

"I don't know, but we're trying."

I think this line sums up all parenting. Parenting is like making a recipe that won't be ready to eat for 30 years. There are millions of recipes to follow; it takes hundreds of ingredients and decades to get to the right consistency. Along the way, you can't ever be *quite sure* that it's baking correctly. You just have to trust that you chose the right recipe, followed the instructions as closely as you could, and that you're kneading the dough with the best technique you possess.

Every family's recipe is different and that is what makes their products so unique.

We won't know for decades if we're doing the right thing TODAY, but as long as we're trying our best, we have to trust that we're on the right path. God has a plan for each of those boys and you're only a small part of that (as much as we moms would like to believe we're the end all, be all for our children). We've been entrusted to keep our little ones safe and teach them to the best of our abilities. The rest is up to Him and them.

You're a great mom and those boys adore you. You're setting an example of hard work, sacrifice, and commitment that they will learn from no one else. Look yourself in the mirror (at your pretty mascara-covered eyelashes) and be proud of yourself and your family. You have too many reasons not to be!

Jodie said...

You are doing great Janelle! You have four wonderful boys!

Janelle said...

Thanks you guys!

I love your analogy of a recipe D! I'll keep that in mind :)

McBorn said...

Parenting is difficult - and I've only had a fraction of the experience you have had. It gives me more compassion for our parents.

I like the recipe analogy, too. I would argue that it isn't ready in 30 years. You still have to change to become the wife and mother that Tim and the boys need you to be as they change and grow, too.

Dan and Peg said...

Lovely analogy Deanna! I think we all have the same concerns as parents, Janelle. It is so good to want to do the right thing for our spouses and children. I think that desire, along with humility in continually adapting to your kids needs is key (hey, if they need to stay up later in the summer to play with ya, go for it!:). To never stop trying. We really are parents for a lifetime. And it's a good thing. :)