Wedding Plans

My sister is having both Tim and I in her wedding and has also decided that she wants a flower girl and ring bearer. Now I can't contribute in the flower girl area, but the ring bearer I think we can cover! She and her fiance have decided they would like Eli to be the ring bearer and one of our cousin's daughter to be the flower girl. He'll be 5 by then and she'll be 4, so it should work out fine.

Now I know Eli, so I have started talking now about the wedding, which isn't until August, and his part in it. Every time I bring it up, he says he doesn't want to do it. The first time, I didn't think too much about it, he has to warm up to new ideas and situations, he's not one to jump right in to a new thing. I figure I can wear him down. It's a quality I have. I'm not sure if it's good or bad.

Like any good mom I let it rest a while and brought it up again. Same response. I say, "Well, what if Noah did it with you?" "No I don't want to do it." Noah: "I'll do it."

This week on the way home from daycare, we started talking about it again since we are going to see the little girl that will be in the wedding this weekend.

"Eli, won't that be fun, you guys can play together this weekend and then you'll get to be in Aunt's wedding together?"

"I don't want to be in Aunt's wedding."

"It'll be fun, Daddy and I are going to be in the wedding."

"I don't want to."

As I start to respond I see Noah in my rear view mirror and he's very serious with those precious big blue eyes as round as saucers, all buckled into his carseat. I turn to look at him and he raises his left hand, his hand all smooth like he's a big kid at school waiting to be called on, and says, "I'll do it. I'll be in Aunt's wedding." I think he's trying to show me he's a big boy.

"Oh, honey I know, but Aunt thinks you're just a little bit too little." I'm running into some delicate territory here. I've got the sweetest little ornery almost three year old who wants to do it and an almost five year old who is refusing. I don't want to crush the little one's spirit. "Eli, Aunt thinks you are so special and wants you to be up in front with her at her wedding. Don't you want to do it?"

"I just don't want to."

Noah pipes in, "Aunt likes me, I'm special."

"You're right Noah, Aunt loves you very much, and thinks you are very special too, but you're a little boy. Eli, what if Noah does it with you, will you do it?"

"No, I don't want to."

"Why not, there has to be a reason. Are you scared, shy, embarassed?"

Noah again, "I'm not scared. I'll do it."

After a little back and forth and realizing that we are all going to the wedding whether or not we are up front at the church, Eli says, "I don't want people to look at me."

I said that at the wedding people will look at him for a minute, but mostly they'll be looking at Aunt, since she'll be so beautiful in her dress. But really, people will look at him, and it does make him uncomfortable, so I'm not sure where to go from here?

Then after we got home I brought it up again (see I'm trying to wear him down) and talked about the reception when he'll get to play with Noah and the other kids. How we'll have dinner and then cake. He says, "Is that all?"

"What do you mean is that all, we'll have dinner and then for dessert we'll have cake."

"I mean, is that all for dessert. Cake?"

"Yes, that's all for dessert."

I'm thinking he thought we should have ice cream too, like a birthday party. Maybe they will, Aunt loves ice cream.