Parenting is hard. Sometimes, or a lot of time, I don't know the right thing to do.
For dinner we had spinach along with chicken and mashed potatoes (real ones, not instant, and that's infrequent at our house), and I know that Eli doesn't really like spinach. But I also know it's in his head. We "doctor" it up for him with lemon juice, butter, and salt and only give him one small bite to eat, and when he does eat it, he ends up not hating it. We put everything on the spinach and told him to eat it quick while it was still hot. I even made him hot chocolate he could wash it down.
Then the whining and crying began. Meanwhile, Noah slurped his down and moved on with dinner.
Eli continues to cry, blah, blah, blah. Tim offers to trade him for a smaller bite, but Eli is way too upset to see the logic of the good deal being offered to him. I set the timer for a minute and tell him he has to eat the spinach or go upstairs when the timer goes off. Upstairs he goes.
After a few minutes, and he's still crying upstairs all the while, I go up and hold him, tell him I love him and just sit there. Once he's calmed down, I suggest we go back downstairs and start dinner over. I'll heat up his plate, he can eat the bite of spinach and then finish his dinner. He agrees this is a good idea.
I reheat his plate. By this time Tim has taken the other boys to the family room to watch a movie, so it's just Eli and I in the kitchen. The crying starts. Then he freaks out because it touched his tongue and his tongue doesn't like it. He starts screaming, which earned him a spank since screaming is not allowed.
By this time I'm losing my cool, this is ridiculous, so I'm yelling. I tell (or yell as the case may be) him he doesn't have the option to sit there all night, either eat it, or scrape the plate in the trash and go to bed. He gets up, scrapes his food into the trash, dumps out the hot chocolate (all over the washcloth in the sink) and goes upstairs.
I gave him five minutes to get ready for bed and went up to check on him and he was in bed, with PJs on, at 7:20. He was asleep by 7:40 when I went up to get Simon ready for bed.
Needless to say he was up early this morning. We talked about last night on the way to the daycare and I told him the next time I fix spinach I'm just going to send him to bed without any dinner right away. That way we don't fight and argue, and since he's not going to eat it anyway it will save us the hassle. Then he asked if we were having spinach again today, and was relieved when we weren't.
We only expect him to eat one bite, and it's not like I'm making him eat liver and onions like my parents did! I don't want him to turn into a kid who only eats what he wants and nothing that's good for him.
Am I making too big of a deal of this? Is there a better way? Maybe it's not a battle to pick? I don't know, I just fear that if I give in on this (not make him try the spinach) that he will push and push in other areas to get his way since he got it here, and he knows he can make me cave eventually. I don't know....
2 comments:
I would not give in that's for sure. I don't really have any other suggestions, but I think you are being a great parent. Be it eating spinach or later in life staying out past curfew, we parents have to stay strong and enforce consequences. Too many parents are giving in to kids now-a-days and that is what is making them rotten or like my husband who won't touch a vegetable and gags just thinking about it. Maybe you could prepare him for a day or two before the next spinach meal and let him know his options so he can think about it for awhile. You are right, parenting is hard!! Good Luck!
Hi! Followed the back link over, glad you like my blog!
We make our kiddos eat at least one bite-one bite won't kill anyone. It sounds to me that the way you handled it was appropriate. I've actually told my kids flat out a couple of times "I'm older than you and more stubborn, and I will win". Sometimes it really is about winning the battle. It sounds horrible, but there it is. They are not in charge, you are :) As you said, you are not forcing him to eat a whole plate of the stuff. One bite of each thing is not unreasonable.
We've had to do the spanking, go to your room, come out and try again thing with Buddy more than once. . . . now it happens very rarely (he's 3 1/2)
Actually the rule in our house is one bite of everything, then no seconds unless you eat everything else (unless it is something that they have a demonstrated dislike for over time-princess doesn't like nuts and neither one of them likes black olives. So far that's the only actual dislikes that have lasted)
We also haven't forced them to continue eating if they say they aren't hungry, but the rule is that if they say they are all done and their plate is mostly full, they get told that if they come back later and say they are hungry, all they get offered is that same plate of food. That way we don't battle over eating what is there (after all, maybe they really aren't hungry) but they don't get to eat crackers five minutes later instead. So far it has worked well.
All this to say "keep your chin up, you are doing fine!".
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