Tuesday, May 05, 2009

About me-Opinions

I am a very opinionated person. I like it about myself, but it's been a thorn for me as well. Because while I have my own opinions I've always felt like everyone should have the same opinion as me, really. I think that's part of why I've had a hard time keeping friends over time-I end up speaking my mind when I should have kept my mouth shut.

Something that's changed and is continuing to change in me is my need to persuade everyone to my side of an issue. I've finally learned that my opinions and ideals govern my choices but when people choose differently than me, that is their choice. Since I don't have to deal with the consequences of the choices someone else makes, it truly shouldn't bother me.

It's still difficult for me when I'm passionate about something to remember that I don't have to deal with the consequences so the choice isn't mine to make. However, I've finally come to terms with actually letting their choice be their choice and not thinking beyond that. I'm still happy to help persuade someone to my line of thinking if they are on the fence, but I've become so much more accepting of people's different choices.

I know to some people this may seem like it's not a big deal and why has it taken me until I was in my 30s to figure that out? Or even be appalled that I felt a need to change people to my line of thinking.

Have you met my dad? I think that's where I realized it wasn't a good way to be. Example:
One time Tim and I were talking to my dad and he commented that he couldn't understand why or how someone would live in an apartment building in New York with no land. He wanted to know why everyone wouldn't want 20 acres out in the boondocks like him. (I tend to agree with him.) However, my astute husband said to him, "Well I'm glad all those people live in apartments in big cities, that way there's room for people like us to have some land. If everyone wanted land there wouldn't be enough to go around."

Point taken.

Our differences are what allows us to blend together to all be able to live our dreams. I began to examine myself and realized that I needed to change. But change is hard and it's long. I'm glad Tim sticks with me through it all.


denise1006 said...

I know how hard it can be to kick a habit, I've got my own that need kicking, but at least you publicly admitted you have one and thats a huge step.

Peyton's said...

I am kind of the opposite, when I met Jesse, he would ask me what I thought of something, and I would say "I don't" He thought I should have an opinion on everything going on in the world, but my way of thinking was - if it didn't affect me personally, I really didn't care enough to have an opinion about it. I think I have change since then.

Janelle said...

It's funny how we're all so different!

Deanna said...

I think our 30s is a time of self-reflection unlike any other time. We're beyond our crazy 20s but not ready for our 40s. We're raising children and trying to be solid examples for them. We're coming into our own as trustworthy women in the eyes of others, and we're finding our footing as beacons of advice for others.

I don't believe we had it in us to be so insightful and willing to change in our 20s so it naturally happens now. For many, it never happens and those folks end up disappointed with life in general as they age. So you're giving yourself a gift by examining those ideals and polishing up the rusty spots. :)