Thursday, April 05, 2012

Bragging a little

I just want to put out there that Tim makes me a better person. He doesn't let me skate by with less that what he knows I can be. He pushes me hard to grow.

Sometimes I don't like it, well, most of the time I don't like it, but he does it for me. And, truth be told, for him too.

The clearest example is way back before we were even married. Things had broken down between my Dad and I, what little there was to break down in the first place. Tim was not satisfied with how things were between my Dad and I. And I wasn't either, but the path of least resistance is always easier so I was just going with the drifting apart. Tim said he wouldn't marry me unless I had a relationship with my dad. He said we didn't have to be best friends, but I had to have a "working" relationship with him. Tim didn't want to have a wife that was pseudo-estranged from her dad.

Point taken, that was certainly fair enough. If the roles were reversed, I would feel the same way. But man, that was hard. I had to bite my tongue on many occasions to make that relationship a go. And now, my Dad and I aren't what you would call close, but we call each other and try to get together a couple of times a year and there is no "yuckiness" between us.

Here's what it took:
I had to lower my expectations of what my relationship with my dad would be-I don't live in a movie, my dad is not going to come to my rescue. But he is going to pick up the phone when I call. I moved my expectations to zero expectations, and then you know what? He has exceeded my expectations ever since. And that is a nice place to be.

Tim was there supporting me every step of the way, because I'm still just a girl who wants her Dad to love her, and when that wasn't there, Tim stepped in. He encouraged me to stick with it even though it was hard and it hurt. He gave me a shoulder to cry on when I needed it, and strong arms around me when I needed that.

I am so thankful for my husband who was not willing to let me drift away from my dad, and to demand me to be the best Janelle I can be, and to not settle. I happen to have the best husband around! I hope you all do too!


Minka said...

Beautiful! Thank you for this! And thanks to you and Tim for being an example to us noobs! :)

Anonymous said...

Tim sounds like a True partner. Helping You be your best, and he's there when needed to lean on. The Best keeps getting better!