Dinner Discussions, Breakfast Edition

Tim was fixing the boys breakfast over the weekend and as I came downstairs it sounded like they were having entirely too much fun.

I rounded the corner into the dining room and almost bumped into Tim. He's trying to stifle a laugh and said, "Did you hear any of that?"

"No, why?"

Tim relayed this exchange to me:
Simon said, "What do cows do on a date?"
I replied, "Go to a mooovie."
He smiled and said, "Almost. Dinner and a moooovie."
So then I said, "What do cows like to listen to?"
All the big boys were laughing and said, "Muuusic."
Jesse was laughing right along with them and said, "What do cows eat?"
We all looked at each other and no one could think of it. So we said, "No what?"
Jesse laughed and said, "Grass! Didn't you know that cows eat grass?"
We all just shook our heads and laughed.

Dinner Discussions

Listening to conversations at our dinner table is like following a "Family Circus" character.  I don't know how this particular conversation got started, but I love it!

"God made everything," Noah stated.

"No he didn't, he didn't make this plate.  It's glass.  God didn't make glass, we did," Eli corrected, with just a touch of snotty.
"God made all the stuff we use.  He made the stuff that we use to make glass," Noah retorted, keeping his snotty in check for a nice change.

Simon decided to join in, "So like, God made metal and we used the metal to make this plate," then he got a little sheepish realizing that this plate was not metal as he had suggested.

Eli getting up to clear his plate said, a little too snippy for my liking to Simon, "No!  It's not metal, it's glass!  And glass is made out of....well I don't know, but I do know that if you blow on the end of a stick a glass ball comes out."  Then he hesitated and said, "But I'm not sure how they made the plate." 

I happen to know he's thinking of the page in our Christmas book Jolly Old Santa Claus where the elves are blowing glass to make ornaments.  One of my favorite pictures in the book.  And the best Christmas book ever, by the way!

Eli walked out of the kitchen and Tim asked the other boys what glass was made out of, but they didn't know.

Jesse said, "Well I do know that if I went outside and blew on a stick that a plate would NOT come out the other side."

Indeed child, indeed.

Dinner Discussions

We were sitting a the table eating dinner when the subject turned to maturing, physical maturing.  I said something about Eli growing his "man hair,"  which in our house currently refers to long arm and leg hair, armpit hair, and facial hair.  Eli put his forearm in front of him and while scrutinizing it said, "Well right now I'm working on my arm hair."
Tim smirked and said, "How are you working on it?"
Eli sort of ignored the question.
I said, "Why arm hair, why not armpit hair?  Do you have that already?"
Eli then proceeds to lift up his arm and look in his armpit.  "Nope, not yet."
Tim said, "Well, do you want me to show you how to work on growing your armpit hair?  This is what I did when I was your age."
Eli's eyes light up and he said, "Yeah!"
Tim raises his left arm and turned his face towards his armpit.  At this point I'm wondering where this could go.  He proceeds to tell the boys, "You have to hum, kind of like you sing to a baby to get them to grow, you hum to your armpit."  Now his has his face turned completely toward his armpit and he is humming and then he says, "And you rub it like this."  He takes his right hand and rubs his armpit in a circular motion while he's humming.  I'm just shaking my head at this point.
Eli's not sure about it and says, "Really does that work?"
"Yeah look at all this hair I have!" Tim said.
Eli looked at me for confirmation, and I just raised my eyebrows.
I look around the table and there are five, count them, five males all with one arm up, rubbing their armpits and humming.

Dad

We were in the car on the way home when Simon says to me, "Mom do you know who's the dad of all of us?"

"Uh, yeah, Dad is your dad."

"No," he chuckles, "God is the dad of all of us."

"Oh, well, yeah."

"And God's wife?  She's the mom of all of us right?"

"Well, I'm not sure that God has a wife.  But if he does, then yes, she'd be the mom of all of us."

Politics

Eli and Noah and I were waiting on the bus.  She's almost NEVER late so we wondered if maybe there was a sub.  While we were waiting two guys rode by on bikes.  I said, "They're probably riding their bikes to work, that's a good way to save on gas since it's so high.  See, he's got a backpack, maybe he has his lunch in there."
Eli said, "Why is gas so high?"
I'm not sure if I want to get into this, and really I don't know why gas is high so I said, "Well, there are a lot of reasons Eli."
"Tell me just one."
Hmmm.  Is the bus here yet?
"Okay.  Remember that oil spill we had a while back?"
"Yeah."
"Well, after that Obama said he didn't want us to get oil there anymore, in case there was another spill.  So since we are not getting oil there, there is less oil and that makes it more expensive.  Does that make sense?"

Noah said, "Just in case there's another spill."
"Right, but there might not ever be, we don't know."
"Yeah that's true."

I look toward Eli for understanding, he had nodded but I wasn't sure that he really understood.  It's simple supply and demand, but he is only eight.  So I relayed a similar example using peanut butter sandwiches.  That made more sense to him.  So then he says, "I can't wait until we vote for a new president."
"Yes that will be nice, but we don't know what the new person would be like, they might not be any better.  And, we could vote Obama in for another four years, whoever gets the most votes wins, that's the way it works."  Well that's mostly the way it works.  I don't think he's at the political level to discuss the electoral college and whatnot so we'll leave it as the most votes wins.
"Well I wish I could vote."
"I know, but you can't because you'd just vote for whoever I told you to vote for, that's why kids can't vote.  We want people to understand all about it before they vote.  See, there are two main groups, the democrats and republicans that have people that get voted for.  There are smaller groups, but the main ones are democrats and republicans.  And me, I'm one of the smaller groups."
At this point Noah finally pipes in, "What group it that mom?"
"I'm a libertarian."
"A librarian?"
"A lib-er-tar-ian"
"Oh, what's a libertarian?"
"A libertarian is someone who thinks they should be allowed to do what they want as long as it doesn't hurt with other people.  Like, I can't put chemicals into our pond because it drains to the river and that's where cities get their water and clean it for drinking.  Does that make sense?"

Eli nodded, I went on, "Libertarians also think that we should take care of ourselves and if someone in our family or our community needs something, we should take care of it.  The way it is now if someone is poor and needs something the government gives it to them.  Libertarians want just a little bit of government."

Noah said, "Yeah, but now, If a guy needs something, he doesn't have to bother you he just goes and gets it."
I can see the bus so we need to wrap this up.
"True Noah, but the government doesn't have any money, so they take money out of my paycheck and give it to people.  I would rather decide who gets my money."
"Oh," as a light starts to light up in Noah's head.

"Have a great day boys!" I shout as they pile out of the car.

Oh I love to talk politics!

Dinner Discussions

Sitting at dinner, without any previous disucssion or prompting was the following:
Jesse starts talking, very seriously and grown up.  It's hard to keep a straight face when he does it, but he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms as he said, "We don't eat kitties or dogs, we eat food like meat and salad."

"That's true Jesse," I replied as I looked over at Matt.  Matt's eyes got big and he looked away so as not to bust out laughing.

Jesse, realizing that we are indeed having a serious conversation, continues on, "We eat pigs, and their noses, and salad, and grass."

"No, actually, we don't eat grass.  Lettuce is in the same family as grass, but it's different.  Grass would make us sick."  I can picture him eating grass in the summer so I want to head that off at the pass right now.  And indeed as I'm thinking it, he pretends to be eating grass.

Then he's off to something else and Matt says to me, "Where did that come from?"  I laughed and told him that one day last week we were talking about animals and what the meat is called when we eat it (pig=pork, cow=beef) and how in different places they don't eat pigs or cows but eat things we would think of as pets like a dog.  How it sparked into his brain just now, I would have no idea which rabbit hole got him there...

Dinner Discussions

I haven't posted a dinner discussion in a while, just hasn't been anything good I guess, or maybe I just can't remember it long enough to get it in a blog post. But this one is worth posting!

Noah asked me, "Mom, what does _________ mean?" [I use the line because I have NO recollection of what word he asked, I'm telling you my memory is shot!]

I told him what it meant and used it in a sentence.

Noah looked at me and said, "It's like you're my own 'Word Girl'."

I smiled and said, "Maybe I am Word Girl." Noah laughed, Eli snickered.

Then Eli said, "You aren't Word Girl, we'd know!"

I smiled and said, "You would? Word Girl's family doesn't know she's Word Girl." Dramatic pause. "Do they?"

Then I popped another bite in my mouth and just looked at him and smiled while I chewed. It threw him off a little bit. He just looked at me, you could see the wheels turning, and then asked, "Well, you aren't, are you?"

I laughed and said, "No, I really don't have time for all that!"

Simon piped in with, "And you don't have a cape!"

Indeed. I don't have a cape.

Conversations

Tim has been working outside getting some projects done before winter and Eli loves to help him so they've spent a lot of time together lately. Tim reported to me the other day that while they were out working together, Eli asked him if we (Tim and I) ever fight.

I just smiled when Tim told me. We don't fight much, and that makes me happy.

Cue hair cutting night when I had called to Tim for a little assistance, and apparently he didn't hear me, but either way, I was starting to get irritated with the lack of assistance. Cutting hair is hard enough, but I needed some help to get them all herded into the shower before they covered the house in hair trimmings.

Eventually Tim wandered out to the living room and sat down on the couch to watch me cut Jesse's hair. Tim said something and I snapped at him. I don't even recall what was said. However, my Noah with his smarty-mouth and without even looking up from what he was doing said, "Why are you yelling at your one true love?" with the slightest smirk.

Me, with my smarty mouth and bad attitude said, "Because I asked my 'one true love' for help and he's not helping me!"

Tim promptly got up and said, "What do you want me to do?" and he smiled to keep from laughing. I laughed and told him how he could help.

Dinner Discussions

Sitting at dinner, just the boys and I, we somehow got on the topic of jewelry. I don't know which rabbit hole we had entered, so who knows how we got there. Eli has been into jewelry for a long time. Tim and I really enjoy jewelry so it's no surprise. The conversation that followed was this:

"Was the ring I had before a blue diamond?" Eli asked me.

"No it wasn't, it was just blue. Diamonds are clear," I replied.

"Oh."

"See," I say showing him my engagement and wedding rings. There are little diamonds in the bands.

Then Simon says, "I want to see." Then Noah says, "Let me see too." Then Jesse pipes in, "Me see too!" So they all look at my rings.

Then Noah says, "Is that real gold?"

"Yes, it is real gold."

"Oh!" They all say almost in unison.

Then Eli asks, "Well what is it if it's not real gold?"

"Well, it's just regular metal that they color a gold color."

He's interested so he continues, "But yours is gold?"

"Yes, my jewelry is real. Real gold, real diamonds. See, my earrings have little diamonds too." This is all getting very technical.

Eli is figuring it all out. "Oh, I see. So we have a lot of money?"

I see where his thought process is going. "No, we don't. We traded our money for my jewelry. My jewelry is worth money, but the store has the money now."

I can see the wheels turning in his head reasoning through it. Then he says, "I wish I had a ring just like the one I used to have."

"Well, maybe we'll try again." One year he really wanted a ring so we got him one (a pretty nice one for a four year old) and he wore it to church and lost it and no one returned it, although we tried pretty hard to find it. It made us pretty sad.

Here he is on Christmas Day 2006 showing it off.
Sort of looks the same four years later doesn't he?

Dinner Discussions

Tim said he was wanting some red meat, and while we have a freezer full of it, we don't eat a ton of it, and I realized it had been a little over a week since we'd had a good red meat meal. He asked for smothered steak.

Now that's my kind of meal! Very showy and impressive, takes a little time, but easy! I got sirloin steaks out of the freezer to thaw for two days in the fridge. Then when I got home I threw four of them in a ziploc bag with olive oil, italian seasoning, red cayanne pepper, and freshly grated black pepper to marinate while we did homework.

After homework I fired up the grill and threw the steaks on. While they were grilling I sliced onion, red pepper, and yellow pepper and sauted them on the stove. I thought it was smelling heavenly by that point. When they were about done I added in some mushrooms (previously sauted and left over so they just needed warmed).

Next I grated chedder and montrey jack cheeses and put water on for mashed potatoes (instant). After turning the steaks and adding a little steak sauce I went back inside and turned the oven on to preheat. I got the "fancy" plates for Tim and I out. When the steaks were done, I put one on each plate for Tim and I and topped with onions, mushrooms (but not on mine), red peppers, yellow peppers, a handful of chedder cheese and a handful of montery jack cheese. Then I popped them in the oven for the cheese to melt.

I got the plates out and set Tim's in front of him, cautioning him not to touch his plate. Just like at a restaraunt. I added a nice side of mashed potatoes, and boy did it look good.

Simon walked into the kitchen and said with disdain, "What's that smell?" I laughed and said, "Puke, I'm making you puke for dinner!" The other boys laughed and laughed.

I'd made smothered steak once before and they loved it, so I wasn't worried. The boys don't like things piled up like that so they each got a chunk of steak and whatever toppings they wanted on the side. Simon was still very apprehensive. However as the meal progressed they kept asking for more toppings and more steak. Then as Simon was eating he said, "Mom, this is the best dinner!"

Always trying to teach I said, "Thanks Simon, but remember when you acted like it was going to be terrible? The smell you were smelling was the smoke from the grill-some of it came in the back door. Maybe next time you can ask more nicely so my feelings don't get hurt. What do you think?"

"Okay, Mom, I'll be nicer, because this is really good."

Then Noah, who is just chowing down on the steak says, "Mom, in my whole life, this is the best dinner I've ever had."

"Thanks Noah!"

Tim, ever one to needle the boys said to Noah, "Better than McDonalds even?" Noah said yeah, but knew he was being trapped. I offered him an out, "McDonalds is fun, but it's not this good is it?"

Noah was glad to be saved and said, "Yeah, McDonalds is fun for kids, but this is really good. The best."

I wish I had a picture to show but I didn't think of it until we had already eaten!

And so it begins

At dinner, Tim got up to get a glass (I had forgotten to get him and I glasses) when he got halfway to the cupboard he turned around and headed to fridge and pulled out a beer instead. I didn't think anything about it.

Eli, however, did. He said, "Parents are so weird!"

Tim and I look at each other and Tim says, "All parents or just us?"

"ALL parents."

Well, at least it's not just us. But Eli decides to elaborate. "You are walking to the cupboard and then you turn around a get a Bud Light." (It does bother me that he knows it's Bud Light somehow. Although he can read so it shouldn't; it somehow does.)

Tim and I think this is an odd thing to think your parents are weird about, but whatever I guess. Tim said to Eli, "Well don't you ever change your mind or make a mistake?"

Eli starts to snicker because he knows he's cornered and says with a sly smile, "No."

At this point Noah jumps in on the discussion and says, "Yeah, parents are so weird!"

Tim laughed and said, "Yeah, well maybe we think kids are weird! Like they wet their bed, suck their thumbs..." I jump in to add, "Yeah, they pick their noses, they cry every day."

Noah says, "I don't cry every day!"

I laugh and say, "Noah I bet you cry five times a day!"

Tim backs me on this one and says, "And whining is the same as crying, so yes, you do."

By this time Eli is in stitches and Noah too.

I'm sure this will not be the last time we hear the "Parents are so weird" comment.

Dinner Discussions

I haven't had much to put in the dinner discussions lately, but Tim relayed this little breakfast conversation with Simon to me and I couldn't let it go by undocumented!


The "big boys" ride with me to the end of the driveway where the bus picks them up and then I head on to work while Tim gets the little boys their breakfast and ready for the day. So it's just Tim, Simon, and Jesse in the mornings after we leave. They were watching TV while eating breakfast and here's the conversation.

Simon, seeing some commercial commented, "They're in love. You and mom are in love."

"Yep, we are."

"Except sometimes. Now she's at work. Sometimes she's at work and sometimes she's at love."

Dinner Discussions

We were eating dinner, with the TV on-I was wanting to hear the news of the weekend, when a commercial about hair replacement came on. I didn't think much of it since no one in our house would be in need of such things.

Then Eli says, "I need that."

"Need what?"

"That stuff to grow hair."

"Why would you need that?"

"Well, I want hair like Dad's."

"What do you mean?" I'm really confused by this point.

"In the back, like Dad."

"You have hair in the back. What do you mean?" It's not getting any clearer for me.

"By my ears. Like Dad." At this point he reaches up to his face and rubs in front of his ears.

"Oh, you mean like sideburns, like Dad has coming down?"

"Yeah, like Dad."

"Oh, well, you'll get those when you're bigger and old enough to shave."

"I will?"

"Yep, they just don't grow on boys."

"Oh!"

Later I was relaying the conversation to Tim when Eli pipes in and says, "Well, I can just grow this hair long," rubbing behind his ear, "and then just pull it around." He's indicating he could grow the hair behind his ear long and then loop it over his ear so it will hang down like sideburns. I'm pretty liberal with their hair, but I draw the line there, I shot that down right away.

Besides, who knew sideburns were so cool?

Dinner Discussions

It was Thursday night and I knew Mary and Josh were already at the hospital so I told the boys at dinner that I would be gone in the morning when they got up.

Eli asked if they had already had the baby and I said no, but they will probably tomorrow and I wanted to be there. Right now they're just starting and it takes a while to have a baby.

"Oh, so, tomorrow it's turning zero?"

I started laughing, "Yes, it will be turning zero tomorrow."

Dinner Discussions

Noah's four and at quite a pondering age.

"Can God see this little speck on my finger?"
"Yes God can see that."
"What if I put my finger in my pocket?"
"God can still see it."

"Can God see my feet under the table?"

"Yes he can see your feet under the table."

A pause.

"What about inside the microwave, in the dark?"
"Yes, even in the microwave in the dark."

I'm glad he's learning and questioning but I was beginning to think I was in a Dr. Seuss book. Would you, could you, on a train, in the dark, in the rain?

Dinner Discussions

We were eating pizza for dinner, it was sitting on the table between Tim and Eli with one piece left. Tim and Eli both had empty plates. Eli reached for the last piece and took it.

Tim, trying to give him a hard time says, "Hey, what if I wanted that?"

I always used to have to tell Eli to look at Tim's face to see if he was kidding or serious, but he's got it down now.

Eli didn't even look up and said, "Well that's just bad luck for you isn't it?"

I love the humor developing!

Dinner Discussions

We had some spicy food for dinner so Noah asked for butter bread. Which, oddly enough has become his pattern lately. Clean plate, ask for butter bread.

As I'm buttering it I ask if he wants it folded. He said he did so I put butter on half of it and folded it.

A little bit later he asked if he could have another piece. I said sure and he got the bread and handed it to me.

"Will you butter it for me?"

"Sure, do you want it folded in half?"

An almost indiscernable hesitation and then, "No."

"Okay." I proceed to butter the whole piece of bread and hand it to Noah.

He takes it and looks at me out of the corner of his eye as he starts to grin and fold his bread in half.

"Noah why did you say you didn't want it folded if you did?"

"Well, because I thought you wouldn't put butter on the whole piece."

Indeed!

Dinner Discussions

I might just make this a fairly regular feature-a lot of good stuff comes out of our dinner discussions.

We were eating dinner when Eli asked me, “Mom, before you were born did you want to be a girl?”
I chuckled, “Well, before you were born did you want to be a boy?”

“Yes.”

“You did? I can’t remember before I was born so I don’t know if I wanted to be a girl or not. Can you remember before you were born?”

“Well I can and I wanted to be a boy.”

“Are you sure you can remember before you were born?”

“Yes!”

At this point there’s some cross talk with the little boys about being a boy and how it’s better than being a girl, that kind of thing.

Then Simon pipes in with, “Being a girl is bad for me. I don’t like panties. Panties aren’t good for me. I don’t wear panties, I’m a boy.”

Dinner Discussions

We were talking at the dinner table and Eli asked something about if you could be born twice. I said, “No, you’re only born once, you only have just one life, one chance to do everything you want to do. Then it’s on to heaven forever.”

“Wow, just one?”

“Yep, so you better enjoy it; you don’t get to do it again. This is the only time you’ll get to be a kid!”

I looked over at Noah and said, “This is the only time you’ll ever be four so you should have a good time.” Sometimes Mr. Moody needs to be reminded of things like that.

Noah was frowning and said, “I’m just thinking of one life.”